{"id":1558,"date":"2017-03-22T15:00:44","date_gmt":"2017-03-22T15:00:44","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.noevenable.com\/singingcircles\/?p=1558"},"modified":"2017-03-24T16:14:23","modified_gmt":"2017-03-24T16:14:23","slug":"finding-our-feet-on-sacred-ground-five-things-motherhood-helped-me-remember","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.noevenable.com\/singingcircles\/finding-our-feet-on-sacred-ground-five-things-motherhood-helped-me-remember\/","title":{"rendered":"Finding our Feet on Sacred Ground&#8211; Five things motherhood helped me remember"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>[et_pb_section admin_label=&#8221;section&#8221;][et_pb_row admin_label=&#8221;row&#8221;][et_pb_column type=&#8221;4_4&#8243;][et_pb_text admin_label=&#8221;Text&#8221; background_layout=&#8221;light&#8221; text_orientation=&#8221;left&#8221; use_border_color=&#8221;off&#8221; border_color=&#8221;#ffffff&#8221; border_style=&#8221;solid&#8221;]<\/p>\n<p>Nobody told me. \u00a0Or maybe they did, and I didn\u2019t understand. \u00a0How it\u2019s not just a baby that\u2019s born when you give birth. \u00a0A mother is born too. \u00a0The change might be sudden, or it might happen gradually. \u00a0For me, it was a little of both.<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">It all began with an encounter in our Brooklyn apartment, shortly after bringing our son home from the hospital. \u00a0It had not been the birth we\u2019d imagined. \u00a0Our planned home birth had ended in a hospital transfer with an emergency cesarian followed by a NICU stay. \u00a0My own recovery from surgery was rough. \u00a0My whole body ached, and I was so stooped that I could hardly stand without holding onto something. \u00a0I couldn\u2019t lift my child unassisted. \u00a0And my hungry baby wasn\u2019t able to latch.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"><img loading=\"lazy\" class=\"size-full wp-image-1573 aligncenter\" src=\"http:\/\/www.noevenable.com\/singingcircles\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/03\/20150923_091656.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"1200\" height=\"900\" srcset=\"https:\/\/www.noevenable.com\/singingcircles\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/03\/20150923_091656.jpg 1200w, https:\/\/www.noevenable.com\/singingcircles\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/03\/20150923_091656-300x225.jpg 300w, https:\/\/www.noevenable.com\/singingcircles\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/03\/20150923_091656-768x576.jpg 768w, https:\/\/www.noevenable.com\/singingcircles\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/03\/20150923_091656-1024x768.jpg 1024w, https:\/\/www.noevenable.com\/singingcircles\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/03\/20150923_091656-510x382.jpg 510w, https:\/\/www.noevenable.com\/singingcircles\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/03\/20150923_091656-1080x810.jpg 1080w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 1200px) 100vw, 1200px\" \/><\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Now, I\u2019d never really thought much about nursing. \u00a0In all our focus on manifesting our ideal birth scenario, I\u2019m amused to notice that we hadn\u2019t devoted too much concern to what came after&#8211; the actual baby. \u00a0I was disheartened enough that I probably would have thrown in the towel on nursing altogether, but my partner took the reins and hired a lactation consultant.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">This radiant human, Andrea Syms Brown, who happened to be not just a lactation consultant, but also a wise woman and healer, is where my current life, and self, began. \u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p><img loading=\"lazy\" class=\"size-full wp-image-1579 aligncenter\" src=\"http:\/\/www.noevenable.com\/singingcircles\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/03\/IMG_1053.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"900\" height=\"1200\" srcset=\"https:\/\/www.noevenable.com\/singingcircles\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/03\/IMG_1053.jpg 900w, https:\/\/www.noevenable.com\/singingcircles\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/03\/IMG_1053-225x300.jpg 225w, https:\/\/www.noevenable.com\/singingcircles\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/03\/IMG_1053-768x1024.jpg 768w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 900px) 100vw, 900px\" \/><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">I remember the moment she walked in the door. \u00a0We were ragged from sleeplessness and the stress of the hospital. \u00a0These first weeks at home blurred together into a twilight zone of round the clock catnaps and bouncing on the yoga ball, which seemed the only sure fire way to get our son to sleep.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Andrea came in, unassuming. \u00a0Noticing our cat, she knelt down in front of him. \u00a0\u201cIt\u2019s nice to meet you, Rainer,\u201d she said. \u00a0<\/span><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">\u201cDon\u2019t forget to take care of Rainer.\u00a0 He\u2019s important too.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">When I took off my shirt, she sucked in her breath. \u00a0\u201cWell, first thing,\u201d she said, \u201ctake off that underwire bra right away. \u00a0From now on you\u2019re not going to wear one for a while. \u00a0Your new uniform is an old tee-shirt.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">I took off the bra, and felt the weight of my strange, unfamiliar body. \u00a0I looked in the mirror. \u00a0I felt monstrous, sick and strange. \u00a0I felt like crying.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">\u201cJust let them sink down to the floor,\u201d she said. \u00a0\u201cFrom now on, I want you to embrace your inner cave woman.\u201d \u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">I don\u2019t know what happened to me when she spoke those words, but I liken it to a transmission. \u00a0Imagine that there was a body of ancestral wisdom you\u2019d forgotten. \u00a0In that space lay your knowledge of your own belonging. \u00a0In that space, you felt your connection, not only to your own deep self, and your human family, but also to the whole of life on earth. \u00a0In that place, life sang in and through you. \u00a0You might as well be a lioness. \u00a0Or a whale. \u00a0In that space, they both sang the same song.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Imagine meeting a person who, with a mere look and a kind word, could awaken that whole slumbering body of knowledge within you, so you could experience living in a new way&#8211; knowing the absolute reality of the interdependence of life on earth. \u00a0This was what Andrea did for me. \u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">And yes, after her visit, my baby learned to latch, and we got back on track with breastfeeding, and I went on to nurse through my second pregnancy. \u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">But nursing was only the beginning. \u00a0From that point on, the realizations followed after one another like a series of gently opening parachutes, helping me learn to meet my babies needs, and also my own&#8211; needs I hadn\u2019t remembered I had. \u00a0Here are five things motherhood helped me remember.<\/span><\/p>\n<h1 style=\"text-align: center;\"><strong>1. \u00a0Nature<\/strong><\/h1>\n<p><img loading=\"lazy\" class=\"size-full wp-image-1562 aligncenter\" src=\"http:\/\/www.noevenable.com\/singingcircles\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/03\/20140922_095215.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"1200\" height=\"900\" srcset=\"https:\/\/www.noevenable.com\/singingcircles\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/03\/20140922_095215.jpg 1200w, https:\/\/www.noevenable.com\/singingcircles\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/03\/20140922_095215-300x225.jpg 300w, https:\/\/www.noevenable.com\/singingcircles\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/03\/20140922_095215-768x576.jpg 768w, https:\/\/www.noevenable.com\/singingcircles\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/03\/20140922_095215-1024x768.jpg 1024w, https:\/\/www.noevenable.com\/singingcircles\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/03\/20140922_095215-510x382.jpg 510w, https:\/\/www.noevenable.com\/singingcircles\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/03\/20140922_095215-1080x810.jpg 1080w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 1200px) 100vw, 1200px\" \/><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">When I became a mother, I went from spending most of my waking hours indoors to spending most of my time outside. \u00a0With my son, this was the path of least resistance. \u00a0Inside, he never wanted to be put down. \u00a0So I would put him in the carrier and just start to walk. \u00a0Outside, his eyes opened wide. \u00a0His body relaxed. \u00a0Always, he calmed. \u00a0I calmed too. \u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Every day, we walked. \u00a0At first, it felt like we were the only two people in the world. \u00a0It was winter, and there weren\u2019t many mothers outside with babies. \u00a0It was a little lonely, but we soon came to feel at home in our surroundings, the rambling fields and woods of Prospect Park. \u00a0I began to recognize bird calls, dog walkers, a particular turtle in the pond. \u00a0\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Being outside helped me relax in my parenting. \u00a0Outside, I stopped entertaining my child. \u00a0There was no need for toys or other distractions. \u00a0Outside, mother nature held us and invited us to simply <\/span><b>be.<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"> \u00a0Our birth experience had not been easy. \u00a0But steadily, with nature as our midwife, we began to heal.<\/span><\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<h1 style=\"text-align: center;\"><strong>2. \u00a0Embodiment<\/strong><\/h1>\n<p><img loading=\"lazy\" class=\"size-full wp-image-1575 aligncenter\" src=\"http:\/\/www.noevenable.com\/singingcircles\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/03\/20150718_100333.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"1200\" height=\"675\" srcset=\"https:\/\/www.noevenable.com\/singingcircles\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/03\/20150718_100333.jpg 1200w, https:\/\/www.noevenable.com\/singingcircles\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/03\/20150718_100333-300x169.jpg 300w, https:\/\/www.noevenable.com\/singingcircles\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/03\/20150718_100333-768x432.jpg 768w, https:\/\/www.noevenable.com\/singingcircles\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/03\/20150718_100333-1024x576.jpg 1024w, https:\/\/www.noevenable.com\/singingcircles\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/03\/20150718_100333-1080x608.jpg 1080w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 1200px) 100vw, 1200px\" \/><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Having a child landed me in my body in a new way. \u00a0And what felt monstrous to me in those early days has since come to feel wondrous. \u00a0Now I feel the way I imagine Maya Angelou might have, when she wrote her poem, \u201cPhenomenal Woman.\u201d \u00a0Phenomenal woman, that\u2019s me! \u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Who knew my body could produce milk at a child\u2019s cry? <\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Who knew a child would fit so comfortably on my back, my chest, or my hip? \u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Who knew how much weight this body could carry, for hours upon hours of walking? \u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Who knew my body\u2019s resilience&#8211; that after two cesarians, it could not only recover, but thrive? \u00a0I didn\u2019t get my hoped for natural birth, but my life afterwards has been no less natural. \u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<h1 style=\"text-align: center;\"><strong>3. \u00a0Community<\/strong><\/h1>\n<h1 style=\"text-align: center;\"><img loading=\"lazy\" class=\"size-full wp-image-1565 aligncenter\" src=\"http:\/\/www.noevenable.com\/singingcircles\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/03\/20141217_110900.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"1200\" height=\"900\" srcset=\"https:\/\/www.noevenable.com\/singingcircles\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/03\/20141217_110900.jpg 1200w, https:\/\/www.noevenable.com\/singingcircles\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/03\/20141217_110900-300x225.jpg 300w, https:\/\/www.noevenable.com\/singingcircles\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/03\/20141217_110900-768x576.jpg 768w, https:\/\/www.noevenable.com\/singingcircles\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/03\/20141217_110900-1024x768.jpg 1024w, https:\/\/www.noevenable.com\/singingcircles\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/03\/20141217_110900-510x382.jpg 510w, https:\/\/www.noevenable.com\/singingcircles\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/03\/20141217_110900-1080x810.jpg 1080w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 1200px) 100vw, 1200px\" \/><\/h1>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">We weren\u2019t meant to go this alone. \u00a0In previous generations, parents often enjoyed the caregiving support of grandparents, aunts, cousins, and older siblings. \u00a0This degree of extended family involvement may not be feasible for many of us today. \u00a0But there are other ways to establish the village we so need as parents. <\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">In my own story, after months of spending most of my time alone with my son, I started to find my people. \u00a0Mornings, we would all wind up sitting under the great cherry tree at the Prospect Park nature exploration area, swapping stories, laughing. \u00a0Those early days seem in my memory like felt like a single, ongoing\u00a0picnic, continuing in daily installments. \u00a0As I came to know and cherish these people, I often held the image of a\u00a0village. \u00a0I fantasized about what it might be like if our homes were all right in that spot, all set up in a circle. \u00a0Would we share cooking? \u00a0Childcare? \u00a0We might gather around a fire in the evening&#8230; \u00a0I began to dream of living more communally, a line of thinking that continues for my partner and I to this day.<\/span><\/p>\n<h1 style=\"text-align: center;\"><strong>4. \u00a0Ritual<\/strong><\/h1>\n<p><img loading=\"lazy\" class=\"size-full wp-image-1569 aligncenter\" src=\"http:\/\/www.noevenable.com\/singingcircles\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/03\/20150729_133249.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"1200\" height=\"900\" srcset=\"https:\/\/www.noevenable.com\/singingcircles\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/03\/20150729_133249.jpg 1200w, https:\/\/www.noevenable.com\/singingcircles\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/03\/20150729_133249-300x225.jpg 300w, https:\/\/www.noevenable.com\/singingcircles\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/03\/20150729_133249-768x576.jpg 768w, https:\/\/www.noevenable.com\/singingcircles\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/03\/20150729_133249-1024x768.jpg 1024w, https:\/\/www.noevenable.com\/singingcircles\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/03\/20150729_133249-510x382.jpg 510w, https:\/\/www.noevenable.com\/singingcircles\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/03\/20150729_133249-1080x810.jpg 1080w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 1200px) 100vw, 1200px\" \/><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">As our children reach toddlerhood, we start to see how important consistency is to their wellbeing. \u00a0A predictable daily and weekly routine, (or rhythm, as it\u2019s called in Waldorf circles) makes life easier on children, and easier on us. \u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">\u201cFirst we take our bath, then we put on our pajamas, then we brush our teeth\u2026\u201d \u00a0When children know what\u2019s coming next in a\u00a0sequence\u00a0of events, when they know it <strong>in their bodies<\/strong>, without the need for verbal explanation,\u00a0watch how much easier it is to move them through it. \u00a0Consistency helps us move from experiencing the things we do as discrete activities, to experiencing them in a state of flow.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">I\u2019ve learned another thing too&#8211; just as my children need rhythm, I need <strong>ritual<\/strong>. \u00a0I need to build spaces into my day where I can experience moments of quiet presence. \u00a0These moments strengthen\u00a0our\u00a0connection to important things beyond our\u00a0children. \u00a0To our\u00a0own intuition. \u00a0To others. \u00a0To spirit, God, universal love, or whatever name one chooses to call it by.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Whether it\u2019s ten minutes of meditation while lying in bed, or the lighting of a candle to say grace before a meal, these moments open a space for reflection. \u00a0It\u2019s not always quiet, or tidy. \u00a0Frequently,\u00a0I&#8217;m\u00a0interrupted by my daughter wanting\u00a0to nurse, or my son needing a pair of scissors. \u00a0When I&#8217;m interrupted, I check in with them, and then, when I can, get right back to it.\u00a0 I find that even if it\u2019s just ten seconds I manage to find mid-stream, these moments help me practice self-care, which gives me the internal resources\u00a0to parent for a more mindful place.<\/span><\/p>\n<h1 style=\"text-align: center;\"><strong>5. \u00a0The Real Purpose of Song<\/strong><\/h1>\n<p><img loading=\"lazy\" class=\"size-full wp-image-1571 aligncenter\" src=\"http:\/\/www.noevenable.com\/singingcircles\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/03\/20150228_172940.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"1200\" height=\"675\" srcset=\"https:\/\/www.noevenable.com\/singingcircles\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/03\/20150228_172940.jpg 1200w, https:\/\/www.noevenable.com\/singingcircles\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/03\/20150228_172940-300x169.jpg 300w, https:\/\/www.noevenable.com\/singingcircles\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/03\/20150228_172940-768x432.jpg 768w, https:\/\/www.noevenable.com\/singingcircles\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/03\/20150228_172940-1024x576.jpg 1024w, https:\/\/www.noevenable.com\/singingcircles\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/03\/20150228_172940-1080x608.jpg 1080w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 1200px) 100vw, 1200px\" \/><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">All through my twenties and most of my thirties, I was a touring singer-songwriter, and a lot of the songs I wrote were ones I released on albums or performed for audience. \u00a0This is still a part of my life, though these days I devote less time to recording my own music.\u00a0 But mothering my children has helped me discover a new aspect to music, and this one is accessible to everyone, regardless of whether or not you consider yourself a strong singer. \u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">I first discovered it as mother of a new baby. \u00a0While I was in labor&#8230; \u00a0During those first\u00a0days in the NICU\u2026 \u00a0All those nights,\u00a0trying to get my babies\u00a0back to sleep, I noticed\u00a0I always seemed to be\u00a0singing. \u00a0These songs weren&#8217;t anything\u00a0I planned to share with anyone. \u00a0Just singing a verse here, a chorus there, a little melody without words, even. \u00a0Just humming a tune from who knows where.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">The casual practice of singing whatever tune or melody came into my head\u00a0\u00a0has turned out to be one of the most nourishing practices for me in parenting. \u00a0Whatever challenges we face, there&#8217;s some song out there that speaks to just that feeling. \u00a0Sometimes, just humming that song can be just what we need to\u00a0<\/span><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">help us get back in touch with our\u00a0strength, resilience, and compassion. \u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Now four years into my parenting journey, I\u2019ve made it my mission to more deeply explore this nourishing potential in song, and to create spaces for people to also experience it collectively&#8211; what happens when we sing and make music together.\u00a0 \u00a0<\/span><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Music, and singing in particular, is a wellspring we can draw on. \u00a0And when we draw on this wellspring, we can deepen our experience of <strong>all<\/strong>\u00a0the things I\u2019ve talked about above. \u00a0We <\/span><b>build a sense of community<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">. \u00a0Through singing seasonal songs, we partake in <\/span><b>ritual<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"> that helps us become attuned to<\/span><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">\u00a0<\/span><b>nature&#8217;s larger rhythms<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">. \u00a0And of course, we come into a greater sense of <\/span><b>embodiment<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"> as, along with the music, we play instruments, move our bodies, and sing. \u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Those are a few of the ways that motherhood has brought me home. \u00a0Home to myself. \u00a0Home to womanhood. \u00a0Home to sisterhood. \u00a0Home on sacred ground. \u00a0Home, dear sisters. \u00a0That is where I write from. \u00a0And this is why I call you dear. \u00a0Not to assume a familiarity we may not have yet\u2026 \u00a0Not to suggest that we are friends, if we don\u2019t know each other yet. \u00a0We might not be friends yet. \u00a0But if not, we are still\u00a0connected. \u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">\u201cWe are sisters on a journey,\u201d goes the song. \u00a0This journey will unravel and remake us. \u00a0Your realizations may not be the same as mine, but between us, there exists such a well of wisdom, such a storehouse of power, that I truly believe it can transform the world.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">So I\u2019d love to hear from you! \u00a0What is mothering helping\u00a0<\/span><b>you<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"> to remember?<\/span><\/p>\n<p>[\/et_pb_text][et_pb_cta admin_label=&#8221;Call To Action&#8221; url_new_window=&#8221;off&#8221; use_background_color=&#8221;on&#8221; background_color=&#8221;rgba(14,142,42,0.41)&#8221; background_layout=&#8221;dark&#8221; text_orientation=&#8221;left&#8221; use_border_color=&#8221;off&#8221; border_color=&#8221;#ffffff&#8221; border_style=&#8221;solid&#8221; custom_button=&#8221;off&#8221; button_letter_spacing=&#8221;0&#8243; button_use_icon=&#8221;default&#8221; button_icon_placement=&#8221;right&#8221; button_on_hover=&#8221;on&#8221; button_letter_spacing_hover=&#8221;0&#8243;]<\/p>\n<p><strong><a href=\"http:\/\/www.noevenable.com\/singingcircles\/musicclass\/\">Meadowlark Music Class<\/a>\u00a0starts next week in San Francisco! \u00a0<\/strong>For a limited time only, enjoy 25% off the cost of the full session, and an accompanying discount on drop-in classes when you register now. \u00a0<strong>Meadowlark<\/strong>\u00a0is\u00a0a weekday music class\u00a0designed to <strong>nurture caregivers as much as it does children<\/strong>. \u00a0We meet Wednesday at<strong> Natural Resources,<\/strong>\u00a0Thursday\u00a0at <strong>Charlie&#8217;s Corner,\u00a0<\/strong>and Friday at <strong>the Botanical Garden.<\/strong><\/p>\n<p>You can also attend our <strong>Family Sing-alongs<\/strong>, which happen on weekends. \u00a0These events are free. \u00a0<a href=\"http:\/\/www.noevenable.com\/singingcircles\/singalong-at-charlies-corner\/\"><strong>The next one is April 2nd, in Noe Valley.<\/strong><\/a><\/p>\n<p>Join the conversation <a href=\"https:\/\/www.facebook.com\/groups\/368130136689015\/?fref=nf\"><strong>on Facebook<\/strong>.<\/a><\/p>\n<p>We look forward to connecting with you!<\/p>\n<p>[\/et_pb_cta][\/et_pb_column][\/et_pb_row][\/et_pb_section]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>[et_pb_section admin_label=&#8221;section&#8221;][et_pb_row admin_label=&#8221;row&#8221;][et_pb_column type=&#8221;4_4&#8243;][et_pb_text admin_label=&#8221;Text&#8221; background_layout=&#8221;light&#8221; text_orientation=&#8221;left&#8221; use_border_color=&#8221;off&#8221; border_color=&#8221;#ffffff&#8221; border_style=&#8221;solid&#8221;] Nobody told me. \u00a0Or maybe they did, and I didn\u2019t understand. \u00a0How it\u2019s not just a baby that\u2019s born when you give birth. \u00a0A mother is born too. \u00a0The change might be sudden, or it might happen gradually. \u00a0For me, it was a little of [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":1561,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_et_pb_use_builder":"on","_et_pb_old_content":"<p>Nobody told me. \u00a0Or maybe they did, and I didn\u2019t understand. \u00a0How it\u2019s not just a baby that\u2019s born when you give birth. \u00a0A mother is born too. \u00a0The change might be sudden, or it might happen gradually. \u00a0For me, it was a little of both.<\/p><p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">It all began with an encounter in our Brooklyn apartment, shortly after bringing our son home from the hospital. \u00a0It had not been the birth we\u2019d imagined. \u00a0Our planned home birth had ended in a hospital transfer with an emergency cesarian followed by a NICU stay. \u00a0My own recovery from surgery was rough. \u00a0My whole body ached, and I was so stooped that I could hardly stand without holding onto something. \u00a0I couldn\u2019t lift my child unassisted. \u00a0And my hungry baby wasn\u2019t able to latch.<\/span><\/p><p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"><img class=\"size-full wp-image-1573 aligncenter\" src=\"http:\/\/www.noevenable.com\/singingcircles\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/03\/20150923_091656.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"1200\" height=\"900\" \/><\/span><\/p><p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Now, I\u2019d never really thought much about nursing. \u00a0In all our focus on manifesting our ideal birth scenario, I\u2019m amused to notice that we hadn\u2019t devoted too much concern to what came after-- the actual baby. \u00a0I was disheartened enough that I probably would have thrown in the towel on nursing altogether, but my partner took the reins and hired a lactation consultant.<\/span><\/p><p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">This radiant human, Andrea Syms Brown, who happened to be not just a lactation consultant, but also a wise woman and healer, is where my current life, and self, began. \u00a0<\/span><\/p><p><img class=\"size-full wp-image-1579 aligncenter\" src=\"http:\/\/www.noevenable.com\/singingcircles\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/03\/IMG_1053.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"900\" height=\"1200\" \/><\/p><p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">I remember the moment she walked in the door. \u00a0We were ragged from sleeplessness and the stress of the hospital. \u00a0These first weeks at home blurred together into a twilight zone of round the clock catnaps and bouncing on the yoga ball, which seemed the only sure fire way to get our son to sleep.<\/span><\/p><p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Andrea came in, unassuming. \u00a0Noticing our cat, she knelt down in front of him. \u00a0\u201cIt\u2019s nice to meet you, Rainer,\u201d she said. \u00a0<\/span><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">\u201cDon\u2019t forget to take care of Rainer.\u00a0 He\u2019s important too.\u201d<\/span><\/p><p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">When I took off my shirt, she sucked in her breath. \u00a0\u201cWell, first thing,\u201d she said, \u201ctake off that underwire bra right away. \u00a0From now on you\u2019re not going to wear one for a while. \u00a0Your new uniform is an old tee-shirt.\u201d<\/span><\/p><p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">I took off the bra, and felt the weight of my strange, unfamiliar body. \u00a0I looked in the mirror. \u00a0I felt monstrous, sick and strange. \u00a0I felt like crying.<\/span><\/p><p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">\u201cJust let them sink down to the floor,\u201d she said. \u00a0\u201cFrom now on, I want you to embrace your inner cave woman.\u201d \u00a0<\/span><\/p><p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">I don\u2019t know what happened to me when she spoke those words, but I liken it to a transmission. \u00a0Imagine that there was a body of ancestral wisdom you\u2019d forgotten. \u00a0In that space lay your knowledge of your own belonging. \u00a0In that space, you felt your connection, not only to your own deep self, and your human family, but also to the whole of life on earth. \u00a0In that place, life sang in and through you. \u00a0You might as well be a lioness. \u00a0Or a whale. \u00a0In that space, they both sang the same song.<\/span><\/p><p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Imagine meeting a person who, with a mere look and a kind word, could awaken that whole slumbering body of knowledge within you, so you could experience living in a new way-- knowing the absolute reality of the interdependence of life on earth. \u00a0This was what Andrea did for me. \u00a0<\/span><\/p><p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">And yes, after her visit, my baby learned to latch, and we got back on track with breastfeeding, and I went on to nurse through my second pregnancy. \u00a0<\/span><\/p><p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">But nursing was only the beginning. \u00a0From that point on, the realizations followed after one another like a series of gently opening parachutes, helping me learn to meet my babies needs, and also my own-- needs I hadn\u2019t remembered I had. \u00a0Here are five things motherhood helped me remember.<\/span><\/p><h1 style=\"text-align: center;\"><strong>1. \u00a0Nature<\/strong><\/h1><p><img class=\"size-full wp-image-1562 aligncenter\" src=\"http:\/\/www.noevenable.com\/singingcircles\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/03\/20140922_095215.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"1200\" height=\"900\" \/><\/p><p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">When I became a mother, I went from spending most of my waking hours indoors to spending most of my time outside. \u00a0With my son, this was the path of least resistance. \u00a0Inside, he never wanted to be put down. \u00a0So I would put him in the carrier and just start to walk. \u00a0Outside, his eyes opened wide. \u00a0His body relaxed. \u00a0Always, he calmed. \u00a0I calmed too. \u00a0<\/span><\/p><p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Every day, we walked. \u00a0At first, it felt like we were the only two people in the world. \u00a0It was winter, and there weren\u2019t many mothers outside with babies. \u00a0It was a little lonely, but we soon came to feel at home in our surroundings, the rambling fields and woods of Prospect Park. \u00a0I began to recognize bird calls, dog walkers, a particular turtle in the pond. \u00a0\u00a0<\/span><\/p><p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Being outside helped me relax in my parenting. \u00a0Outside, I stopped entertaining my child. \u00a0There was no need for toys or other distractions. \u00a0Outside, mother nature held us and invited us to simply <\/span><b>be.<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"> \u00a0Our birth experience had not been easy. \u00a0But steadily, with nature as our midwife, we began to heal.<\/span><\/p><p>\u00a0<\/p><h1 style=\"text-align: center;\"><strong>2. \u00a0Embodiment<\/strong><\/h1><p><img class=\"size-full wp-image-1575 aligncenter\" src=\"http:\/\/www.noevenable.com\/singingcircles\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/03\/20150718_100333.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"1200\" height=\"675\" \/><\/p><p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Having a child landed me in my body in a new way. \u00a0And what felt monstrous to me in those early days has since come to feel wondrous. \u00a0Now I feel the way I imagine Maya Angelou might have, when she wrote her poem, \u201cPhenomenal Woman.\u201d \u00a0Phenomenal woman, that\u2019s me! \u00a0<\/span><\/p><p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Who knew my body could produce milk at a child\u2019s cry? <\/span><\/p><p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Who knew a child would fit so comfortably on my back, my chest, or my hip? \u00a0<\/span><\/p><p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Who knew how much weight this body could carry, for hours upon hours of walking? \u00a0<\/span><\/p><p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Who knew my body\u2019s resilience-- that after two cesarians, it could not only recover, but thrive? \u00a0I didn\u2019t get my hoped for natural birth, but my life afterwards has been no less natural. \u00a0<\/span><\/p><h1 style=\"text-align: center;\"><strong>3. \u00a0Community<\/strong><\/h1><h1 style=\"text-align: center;\"><img class=\"size-full wp-image-1565 aligncenter\" src=\"http:\/\/www.noevenable.com\/singingcircles\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/03\/20141217_110900.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"1200\" height=\"900\" \/><\/h1><p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">We weren\u2019t meant to go this alone. \u00a0In previous generations, parents often enjoyed the caregiving support of grandparents, aunts, cousins, and older siblings. \u00a0This degree of extended family involvement may not be feasible for many of us today. \u00a0But there are other ways to establish the village we so need as parents. <\/span><\/p><p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">In my own story, after months of spending most of my time alone with my son, I started to find my people. \u00a0Mornings, we would all wind up sitting under the great cherry tree at the Prospect Park nature exploration area, swapping stories, laughing. \u00a0Those early days seem in my memory like felt like a single, ongoing\u00a0picnic, continuing in daily installments. \u00a0As I came to know and cherish these people, I often held the image of a\u00a0village. \u00a0I fantasized about what it might be like if our homes were all right in that spot, all set up in a circle. \u00a0Would we share cooking? \u00a0Childcare? \u00a0We might gather around a fire in the evening... \u00a0I began to dream of living more communally, a line of thinking that continues for my partner and I to this day.<\/span><\/p><h1 style=\"text-align: center;\"><strong>4. \u00a0Ritual<\/strong><\/h1><p><img class=\"size-full wp-image-1569 aligncenter\" src=\"http:\/\/www.noevenable.com\/singingcircles\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/03\/20150729_133249.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"1200\" height=\"900\" \/><\/p><p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">As our children reach toddlerhood, we start to see how important consistency is to their wellbeing. \u00a0A predictable daily and weekly routine, (or rhythm, as it\u2019s called in Waldorf circles) makes life easier on children, and easier on us. \u00a0<\/span><\/p><p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">\u201cFirst we take our bath, then we put on our pajamas, then we brush our teeth\u2026\u201d \u00a0When children know what\u2019s coming next in a\u00a0sequence\u00a0of events, when they know it <strong>in their bodies<\/strong>, without the need for verbal explanation,\u00a0watch how much easier it is to move them through it. \u00a0Consistency helps us move from experiencing the things we do as discrete activities, to experiencing them in a state of flow.<\/span><\/p><p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">I\u2019ve learned another thing too-- just as my children need rhythm, I need <strong>ritual<\/strong>. \u00a0I need to build spaces into my day where I can experience moments of quiet presence. \u00a0These moments strengthen\u00a0our\u00a0connection to important things beyond our\u00a0children. \u00a0To our\u00a0own intuition. \u00a0To others. \u00a0To spirit, God, universal love, or whatever name one chooses to call it by.<\/span><\/p><p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Whether it\u2019s ten minutes of meditation while lying in bed, or the lighting of a candle to say grace before a meal, these moments open a space for reflection. \u00a0It\u2019s not always quiet, or tidy. \u00a0Frequently,\u00a0I'm\u00a0interrupted by my daughter wanting\u00a0to nurse, or my son needing a pair of scissors. \u00a0When I'm interrupted, I check in with them, and then, when I can, get right back to it.\u00a0 I find that even if it\u2019s just ten seconds I manage to find mid-stream, these moments help me practice self-care, which gives me the internal resources\u00a0to parent for a more mindful place.<\/span><\/p><h1 style=\"text-align: center;\"><strong>5. \u00a0The Real Purpose of Song<\/strong><\/h1><p><img class=\"size-full wp-image-1571 aligncenter\" src=\"http:\/\/www.noevenable.com\/singingcircles\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/03\/20150228_172940.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"1200\" height=\"675\" \/><\/p><p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">All through my twenties and most of my thirties, I was a touring singer-songwriter, and a lot of the songs I wrote were ones I released on albums or performed for audience. \u00a0This is still a part of my life, though these days I devote less time to recording my own music.\u00a0 But mothering my children has helped me discover a new aspect to music, and this one is accessible to everyone, regardless of whether or not you consider yourself a strong singer. \u00a0<\/span><\/p><p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">I first discovered it as mother of a new baby. \u00a0While I was in labor... \u00a0During those first\u00a0days in the NICU\u2026 \u00a0All those nights,\u00a0trying to get my babies\u00a0back to sleep, I noticed\u00a0I always seemed to be\u00a0singing. \u00a0These songs weren't anything\u00a0I planned to share with anyone. \u00a0Just singing a verse here, a chorus there, a little melody without words, even. \u00a0Just humming a tune from who knows where.<\/span><\/p><p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">The casual practice of singing whatever tune or melody came into my head\u00a0\u00a0has turned out to be one of the most nourishing practices for me in parenting. \u00a0Whatever challenges we face, there's some song out there that speaks to just that feeling. \u00a0Sometimes, just humming that song can be just what we need to\u00a0<\/span><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">help us get back in touch with our\u00a0strength, resilience, and compassion. \u00a0<\/span><\/p><p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Now four years into my parenting journey, I\u2019ve made it my mission to more deeply explore this nourishing potential in song, and to create spaces for people to also experience it collectively-- what happens when we sing and make music together.\u00a0 \u00a0<\/span><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Music, and singing in particular, is a wellspring we can draw on. \u00a0And when we draw on this wellspring, we can deepen our experience of <strong>all<\/strong>\u00a0the things I\u2019ve talked about above. \u00a0We <\/span><b>build a sense of community<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">. \u00a0Through singing seasonal songs, we partake in <\/span><b>ritual<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"> that helps us become attuned to<\/span><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">\u00a0<\/span><b>nature's larger rhythms<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">. \u00a0And of course, we come into a greater sense of <\/span><b>embodiment<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"> as, along with the music, we play instruments, move our bodies, and sing. \u00a0<\/span><\/p><p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Those are a few of the ways that motherhood has brought me home. \u00a0Home to myself. \u00a0Home to womanhood. \u00a0Home to sisterhood. \u00a0Home on sacred ground. \u00a0Home, dear sisters. \u00a0That is where I write from. \u00a0And this is why I call you dear. \u00a0Not to assume a familiarity we may not have yet\u2026 \u00a0Not to suggest that we are friends, if we don\u2019t know each other yet. \u00a0We might not be friends yet. \u00a0But if not, we are still\u00a0connected. \u00a0<\/span><\/p><p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">\u201cWe are sisters on a journey,\u201d goes the song. \u00a0This journey will unravel and remake us. \u00a0Your realizations may not be the same as mine, but between us, there exists such a well of wisdom, such a storehouse of power, that I truly believe it can transform the world.<\/span><\/p><p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">So I\u2019d love to hear from you! \u00a0What is mothering helping\u00a0<\/span><b>you<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"> to remember?<\/span><\/p><p><span style=\"font-weight: 400; color: #008000;\">Join the conversation <span style=\"color: #0000ff;\"><a style=\"color: #0000ff;\" href=\"https:\/\/www.facebook.com\/groups\/368130136689015\/?fref=nf\">on Facebook.<\/a><\/span><\/span><\/p><p><span style=\"color: #008000;\">Or if you're in San Francisco, <strong>join us in person<\/strong>, and discover the joy of\u00a0making music in community. \u00a0<strong><span style=\"color: #0000ff;\"><a style=\"color: #0000ff;\" href=\"http:\/\/www.noevenable.com\/singingcircles\/musicclass\/\">Meadowlark Music Class<\/a><\/span>\u00a0<\/strong>is\u00a0a weekly music experience designed to <strong>nurture caregivers as much as it does children<\/strong>. \u00a0We meet <strong>Wednesday<\/strong>, <strong>Thursday<\/strong> and <strong>Friday<\/strong> at indoor and outdoor locations around San Francisco.<\/span><\/p><p><span style=\"color: #008000;\">You can also attend our <strong>Family Sing-alongs<\/strong>, which happen on weekends. \u00a0These events are free. \u00a0<span style=\"color: #0000ff;\"><a style=\"color: #0000ff;\" href=\"http:\/\/www.noevenable.com\/singingcircles\/singalong-at-charlies-corner\/\"><strong>The next one is April 2nd, in Noe Valley.<\/strong><\/a><\/span><\/span><\/p><p><span style=\"color: #339966;\">We look forward to connecting with you!<\/span><\/p>","_et_gb_content_width":"","_s2mail":"yes"},"categories":[53,3,7,4,1,11],"tags":[41,62,66,25,64,65,63],"aioseo_notices":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.noevenable.com\/singingcircles\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1558"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.noevenable.com\/singingcircles\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.noevenable.com\/singingcircles\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.noevenable.com\/singingcircles\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.noevenable.com\/singingcircles\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=1558"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.noevenable.com\/singingcircles\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1558\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.noevenable.com\/singingcircles\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/1561"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.noevenable.com\/singingcircles\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=1558"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.noevenable.com\/singingcircles\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=1558"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.noevenable.com\/singingcircles\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=1558"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}