I experienced this with my twenty month old daughter the other day. \u00a0We were in a music class where the teacher sang a melody in a minor key. \u00a0My daughter sat in my lap. \u00a0She looked at me, and I watched her face suddenly contort, as her eyes filled with tears. \u00a0The melancholy tone of the music had reached her suddenly, and it seemed to have cut her to the quick. \u00a0My generally mellow little girl began to sob so hard that I finally took her out of the room to avoid disturbing the other families.<\/span><\/p>\n As I soothed her, I felt awe. \u00a0First, at the power of music. \u00a0Second, at my daughter\u2019s profound receptivity to that power.<\/span><\/p>\n How could it be that she felt the music so deeply? \u00a0As she listened, what inner chords resonated? \u00a0What prior experiences might have been triggered? \u00a0Or, if it was simply a visceral experience of the minor key itself, where did that awareness come from in her? \u00a0Moments like this, I find myself wondering, who is she?<\/span><\/p>\n What experiences does she already carry with her in her soul?<\/span><\/p>\n How can I best meet her– in light of her deepest capacities?<\/span><\/p>\n How can I stay more in touch with that depth, that mystery that I see in the incredible person she is every day becoming?<\/span><\/p>\n The answer, I have come to conclude, is to build a relationship with our children that includes their higher self. \u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n Your child\u2019s higher self is his or her best self. \u00a0It\u2019s what you see in their moments of greatest tenderness. \u00a0I saw it the other day in my son. \u00a0He was looking at his little sister and he suddenly turned to me and said, gravely, \u201cMama, my most important job is to take care of Peregrine.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n Your child\u2019s higher self is what you see when you behold them fully in love. \u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n And let\u2019s be honest, with all you deal with in a single day of parenting, your child\u2019s higher self is not always easy to keep in touch with!<\/span><\/p>\n Yes, there is the spilled milk, the screaming, the difficulty getting into the carseat. \u00a0There is struggle, anxiety, potty accidents. \u00a0There is the ketchup on your sleeve, the endlessly regenerating stacks of dishes.<\/span><\/p>\n It\u2019s messy. \u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n It doesn\u2019t always look like you thought it would, or like you might like it to.<\/span><\/p>\n But through it all, there you are.<\/span><\/p>\n And there is your child.<\/span><\/p>\n And you both are so much more than actors playing the roles of mother and child.<\/span><\/p>\n You are unique. \u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n And just as you are unique, so is your child. \u00a0It\u2019s not always easy to keep in mind, but it\u2019s true nonetheless– your child may be little, but the truth is, she brings as much to the table as you do. \u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n Your child has a destiny all her own. \u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n That destiny unfolds alongside ours, but in fact, we do not control it.<\/span><\/p>\n We can support. \u00a0Encourage. \u00a0Nurture. \u00a0Hold healthy boundaries. \u00a0We can instruct, love, and connect. \u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n But your child\u2019s life is her own.<\/span><\/p>\n So what does this mean for us as parents? \u00a0Where can we best find guidance? \u00a0How can we best nurture this little person that has been entrusted to our care?<\/span><\/p>\n Yes, there are all the usual sources we turn to, and they can be so useful\u2026 \u00a0Parenting websites, blogs, online forums, the occasional call to the pediatrician. \u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n But all of these sources are based on ideas about children in general.<\/span><\/p>\n Today, I want to talk about something different– how to access a source of wisdom that is as unique as your child.<\/span><\/p>\n The deepest questions (and also the most challenging parenting moments) call us to look within.<\/span><\/p>\n Here\u2019s a practice to help you develop your awareness of your child\u2019s higher self. \u00a0You can do this for your child of any age, from newborn all the way through to school age. \u00a0(You can do it for your adult offspring as well!)<\/span><\/p>\n First, focus on getting really relaxed. \u00a0Choose a time when you can lie down uninterrupted.<\/span><\/p>\n Scan your entire body, part by part, from your toes to the top of your head. \u00a0Focus on relaxing each section of your body.<\/span><\/p>\n When you\u2019re really relaxed, it\u2019s easier to reach a state not unlike dreaming, and with it, deeper levels of knowing.<\/span><\/p>\n In this relaxed state, call to mind an image of your child. \u00a0Look for a moment where you looked at them and felt nothing but total acceptance, total love. \u00a0A moment when you saw them thriving– light, free, loving, tender.<\/span><\/p>\n This is your child\u2019s higher self. \u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n Now, let yourself imagine this self getting older. \u00a0Imagine him or her learning to talk. \u00a0To walk. \u00a0Imagine him or her growing into an adult, maybe even a parent him or herself. \u00a0Imagine that this being has overcome the challenges of childhood, and can now reflect back to you something of what his or her inner experience was truly like. \u00a0Observe this process, and really let yourself take it in– this incredible person your child has become.<\/span><\/p>\n Depending on how you are built, you may experience this visualization in a variety of ways. \u00a0Some people \u201csee\u201d their child\u2019s higher self, with a form of sight like what we experience in dreaming.<\/span><\/p>\n Others find they can \u201chear\u201d an inner voice they can connect with.<\/span><\/p>\n Still others might just have a feeling.<\/span><\/p>\n Know that however you experience your own inner guidance is good and right.<\/span><\/p>\n What matters is just to trust it. \u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n Once you can really sense your connection with this being that is your child\u2019s higher self, you can engage with it. \u00a0If you visit it repeatedly, you can start to build a relationship. \u00a0Ask your questions.<\/span><\/p>\n Questions like\u2026<\/span><\/p>\n \u201cWhy is my child having a hard time right now? \u00a0How can I best support him?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n \u201cWhat are the conditions around my child\u2019s resistance to sleep? \u00a0What is contributing to this that I might not be seeing?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n \u201cWhat am I not seeing about my child\u2019s difficulty participating in circle time in school?\u201d \u00a0Etc.<\/span><\/p>\n A good tip, this one from the wonderful author Tara Mohr: \u00a0a good way to tell whether you\u2019re accessing your deepest wisdom\u2013 \u00a0when you\u2019re really going to that deep place, you should receive some answers that surprise you. \u00a0If you\u2019re just hearing yourself reiterating what you already know, that\u2019s a sign that you still need to go deeper, i.e. be more relaxed.<\/span><\/p>\n If you do this practice consistently, you will find that it begins to shift the way you see your child. \u00a0You will probably find that it is easier to find compassion for him or her, even in difficult moments. \u00a0And you may begin to feel greater trust in the way his or her journey is unfolding.<\/span><\/p>\n In my own mothering journey, this practice has been indispensable, both around the little things, and the really hard ones. \u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n Sometimes it helps me find a new solution. \u00a0Sometimes it helps me find greater acceptance.<\/span><\/p>\n But either way, it helps me live a little more deeply into the mystery.<\/span><\/p>\n When I do that, my love gets bigger. \u00a0My resources get deeper.<\/span><\/p>\n And this journey together as a family gets a little more compassionate. \u00a0For me\u2026 \u00a0For my children\u2026 \u00a0For all of us.<\/span><\/p>\n [\/et_pb_text][et_pb_cta admin_label=”Call To Action” url_new_window=”off” use_background_color=”on” background_color=”#9cd8a9″ background_layout=”dark” text_orientation=”left” use_border_color=”off” border_color=”#ffffff” border_style=”solid” custom_button=”off” button_letter_spacing=”0″ button_use_icon=”default” button_icon_placement=”right” button_on_hover=”on” button_letter_spacing_hover=”0″ saved_tabs=”all”]<\/p>\n If you enjoyed this post, here are a few ways to go deeper:<\/span><\/p>\n If you\u2019re in the SF Bay Area, we warmly invite you to join us in person for class offerings designed to nurture you… \u00a0and your child… \u00a0body and soul!<\/span><\/p>\n Meadowlark Music Class<\/strong><\/a>, my weekly music class for children and caregivers, meets W at Natural Resources and F\u00a0at the SF Botanical Garden.<\/span><\/p>\n Wherever you live, you can\u00a0download our latest children’s music album<\/strong><\/a>. \u00a0It’s free \/ pay what you want!<\/p>\n My intergenerational women’s singing circle, Mothersong<\/strong><\/a>, meets on select Sunday afternoons through the summer, and resumes meeting weekly in the fall.<\/p>\n Or join the conversation in our\u00a0online community, Deep River Families<\/a><\/strong>.<\/a><\/span><\/p>\n [\/et_pb_cta][\/et_pb_column][\/et_pb_row][\/et_pb_section]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" [et_pb_section bb_built=”1″ admin_label=”section”][et_pb_row admin_label=”row”][et_pb_column type=”4_4″][et_pb_text admin_label=”Text” background_layout=”light” text_orientation=”left” text_font_size=”16″ use_border_color=”off” border_color=”#ffffff” border_style=”solid”] Nobody knows your child like you do. \u00a0And yet, now and then, we may as parents experience a moment that brings it home for us how much we do not know. I experienced this with my twenty month old daughter the other day. […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":1861,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_et_pb_use_builder":"on","_et_pb_old_content":" Have you ever encountered a parenting difficulty that no available advice seems to help with? \u00a0It might be an everyday difficulty, like how to get a nap resisting child to sleep. \u00a0Or it might be a more complex question, like choosing a preschool.Your Child is Unique<\/b><\/h2>\n
![\"\"](\"http:\/\/www.noevenable.com\/singingcircles\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/05\/pablo-41.png\")
<\/p>\nWorking With Your Child\u2019s Higher Self<\/b><\/h2>\n
![\"\"](\"http:\/\/www.noevenable.com\/singingcircles\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/05\/pablo-39.png\")
<\/p>\n![\"\"](\"http:\/\/www.noevenable.com\/singingcircles\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/05\/pablo-42.png\")
<\/p>\nWhat You Can Expect From this Practice<\/strong><\/h2>\n
\u00a0
Seeking answers, you\u2019ve talked to friends, read your favorite parenting websites, maybe even called your pediatrician... \u00a0But while some tips seem promising, there\u2019s just something not quite connecting when you apply it to your child.
\u00a0
As parents, nearly all of us have experienced this from time to time. \u00a0When it happens, it may bring up some uncomfortable feelings.
\u00a0
You might even find yourself wondering whether there\u2019s something wrong with your parenting\u2026 \u00a0or your child.
\u00a0
But I want to share something with you today. \u00a0I believe it\u2019s the most foundational truth about parenting.
\u00a0
General advice can be helpful sometimes, but it's also limited. \u00a0Why? \u00a0
\u00a0
Because your child is unique. \u00a0Parenting advice is generally created to address the needs of children in general. \u00a0But your child is an individual like no other. \u00a0
\u00a0
She has her own destiny. \u00a0
\u00a0
Her own gifts. \u00a0
\u00a0
And she is shaped by so many influences that go deeper than what can be seen with the naked eye.
\u00a0
Of all the people on earth, there is nobody who knows your child like you do. \u00a0And even with all you know, it\u2019s amazing how your child remains so beautifully mysterious.
\u00a0
Have you ever watched your child in awe and silently wondered, \u201cwho IS she? \u00a0Where did she come from?\u201d
\u00a0
I experienced this with my twenty month old daughter the other day. \u00a0We were in a music class where the teacher sang a melody in a minor key. \u00a0My daughter was sitting in my lap. \u00a0She looked at me, and I watched her face suddenly contort, and her eyes fill with tears. \u00a0The melancholy tone of the music had reached her deeply and suddenly. \u00a0She was suddenly sobbing so hard that I took her out of the room to avoid disturbing the other families. \u00a0
\u00a0
As I soothed her, I marveled at the power of music, and at the deep soul of my little daughter.
\u00a0
How could it be that she felt the music so deeply? \u00a0What inner chords were resonating for her as she listened? \u00a0
\u00a0
Moments like this, I find myself thinking, who IS she? \u00a0
\u00a0
What experiences does her little soul already carry within it? \u00a0
\u00a0
How can I most deeply nurture this full, magical being that she is?
\u00a0
Accessing Wisdom
\u00a0
The deepest questions (and also the most challenging parenting moments) require us to draw upon a wisdom deeper than what we can find on most parenting websites. \u00a0They call us to look within.
\u00a0
Here's a practice to help you access a stream of wisdom that is as unique as your child.
\u00a0
Try tuning into your child\u2019s higher self. \u00a0You can do this for your child of any age, from newborn all the way through to school age. \u00a0(You can do it for your adult offspring as well!)
\u00a0
First, focus on getting really relaxed. \u00a0Choose a time when you can lie down uninterrupted. \u00a0
\u00a0
Scan your entire body, part by part, from your toes to the top of your head. \u00a0Focus on relaxing each section of your body. \u00a0
\u00a0
When you\u2019re really relaxed, it\u2019s easier to reach a state not unlike dreaming, and with it, deeper levels of knowing.
\u00a0
In this relaxed state, you\u2019re going to visualize a meeting with your child\u2019s higher self. \u00a0
\u00a0
It can help to hold the intention, and say it aloud in your mind, \u201cplease take me to meet my child\u2019s higher self.\u201d \u00a0If you are comfortable with the phrase, you might also use the word \u201cangel.\u201d \u00a0
\u00a0
Depending on how you are built, you may experience this in a variety of ways. \u00a0Some people \u201csee\u201d their child\u2019s higher self, with a form of sight like what we experience in dreaming. \u00a0
\u00a0
Others find they can \u201chear\u201d an inner voice they can connect with. \u00a0
\u00a0
Still others might just have a feeling.
\u00a0
Know that however you experience your own inner guidance is good and right.
\u00a0
What\u2019s important is simply that you allow the space for your own deeply held intuition to be heard. \u00a0Go on an inner journey, and bring your deep questions.
\u00a0
Questions like\u2026
\u00a0
\u201cWhy is my child having a hard time right now? \u00a0How can I best support him?\u201d
\u00a0
\u201cWhat are the conditions around my child\u2019s resistance to sleep? \u00a0What is contributing to this that I might not be seeing?\u201d
\u00a0
One of the most useful ways to frame a question you\u2019re going to pose in this context\u2026 \u00a0
\u00a0
\u201cWhat am I not seeing about\u2026\u201d
\u00a0
\u201cWhat am I not seeing about my child\u2019s difficulty participating in _____?\u201d \u00a0Etc.
\u00a0
A good tip, this one from Tara Mohr: \u00a0a good way to tell whether you\u2019re accessing your deepest wisdom-- \u00a0when you\u2019re really going to that deep place, you should receive some answers that surprise you. \u00a0If you\u2019re just hearing yourself reiterating what you already know, that\u2019s a sign that you still need to go deeper, i.e. be more relaxed.
\u00a0
I\u2019ve been using this practice for a few years now, and for me, it always helps.
\u00a0
Sometimes it helps me find a surprising solution I might not have considered otherwise. \u00a0At other times, it just helps me find a new level of acceptance-- that my child is on her own path, and I can trust that that path is evolving as it should.
\u00a0
But either way, it helps me live a little more deeply into the mystery.
\u2028When I do that, my love gets bigger. \u00a0My resources get deeper.
\u00a0
And this journey together as a family gets a little more fulfilling. \u00a0For me\u2026 \u00a0For my child\u2026 \u00a0For all of us.<\/p>","_et_gb_content_width":"","_s2mail":"yes"},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"aioseo_notices":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.noevenable.com\/singingcircles\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1854"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.noevenable.com\/singingcircles\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.noevenable.com\/singingcircles\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.noevenable.com\/singingcircles\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.noevenable.com\/singingcircles\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=1854"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.noevenable.com\/singingcircles\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1854\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.noevenable.com\/singingcircles\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/1861"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.noevenable.com\/singingcircles\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=1854"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.noevenable.com\/singingcircles\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=1854"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.noevenable.com\/singingcircles\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=1854"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}