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A few weeks ago, I had the honor of playing at the birthday party of an adorable little girl who was turning one. \u00a0I always love the chance to bring Meadowlark Music Circle to a birthday. \u00a0It\u2019s a fun and interesting challenge to bring music to a whole lot of people who are not expecting it. \u00a0But more than that, I just love getting to hold space with the family who is celebrating. \u00a0A birthday is a very special moment to get a glimpse into a family\u2019s life together.<\/p>\n
At this particular birthday, it was clear how much care and thought had gone into every aspect of the event. \u00a0The little girl\u2019s Mama had thought of everything. \u00a0There was a sparkling gold tower of cupcakes, artfully arranged. \u00a0Hand made party favors stood in neat rows on a colorful table– each child would go home with a little pot of soil, and seed imbued paper cut into the shape of an animal for them to plant and watch grow.<\/p>\n
But even more moving than the beautiful, handmade event this mama had created was something she shared with me in passing. \u00a0I thought it was so lovely that I asked her if I could share it with you here, and she said yes.<\/p>\n
I can\u2019t remember her exact words, but this was the gist.<\/p>\n
She described a little love ritual that she does for her daughter, and explains that she does it weekly, always on the exact same day and time.<\/p>\n
\u201cEach week, I think about her on the day she was born, at the exact time. \u00a0I set the alarm on my phone to go off at that moment, so I won\u2019t ever forget it.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cI just take that moment to think about her, and I let myself feel how precious she is to me.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cIt\u2019s just a few minutes each week, but it helps me stay connected to her in a deep and special way.\u201d<\/p>\n
Beholding this mama as she shared this, I could honestly imagine this as a ritual that might continue for ever. \u00a0Even after her daughter went to elementary school. \u00a0High school. \u00a0College.<\/p>\n
I also want to mention that the mama who shared this with me works outside the home. \u00a0And now that I\u2019ve gone back to work myself, which means spending more time away from my own two children, this ritual spoke especially strongly to me.<\/p>\n
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Parenting can be so challenging. \u00a0Amidst the difficulties, scuffles, and opposing needs we encounter every day, it can be easy to lose touch with what a ritual like this puts us in touch with — our simple joy in our children.<\/p>\n
Our sense of their belonging to something so much larger than our own individual family – whatever magic it was that brought them to us. \u00a0That allowed them to enter the world through us.<\/p>\n
That brought them here as the unique individuals they are.<\/p>\n
Mine, and not mine.<\/p>\n
I love this Mama\u2019s love ritual because it offers a practical, tangible way to keep us in touch with that first moment– the moment of birth.<\/p>\n
Because whatever our birth was like, for many of us, that moment is as in touch as we will ever be with our child\u2019s incredible, sovereign nature.<\/p>\n
Our children\u2026 \u00a0Uniquely individual, beautiful, perfectly, wholly and utterly themselves. \u00a0Despite all our meddling! \u00a0\ud83d\ude09<\/p>\n
I think I might take up this ritual too.<\/p>\n
And when I take it up, I think I\u2019ll add the following\u2026<\/p>\n
\u201cDear Great Spirit, please help me care for your precious child this week.<\/p>\n
Teach me how to honor and guide her.<\/p>\n
For as great as my love is for her, your love is even greater.<\/p>\n
Help me feel that, and find that. \u00a0And when I lose the thread, help me remember.\u201d<\/p>\n
And after I say all that, I\u2019m sure I\u2019ll start humming a song to myself\u2026 Because there\u2019s a wonderful song by Sweet Honey in the Rock that is about exactly this.<\/p>\n
I\u2019m going to sing it for you here, with gratitude to the great Ysaye Barnwell for setting these thoughts to music.<\/p>\n
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And if you enjoy this song, I want to let you know that we\u2019ll be singing this one, and many others like it, in Mothersong Chorus<\/a><\/strong>, my intergenerational women\u2019s singing group, which is open to women and girls 8 and up. \u00a0(Babies also welcome!)<\/p>\n