{"id":1007,"date":"2023-03-01T05:53:46","date_gmt":"2023-03-01T05:53:46","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.noevenable.com\/tendthewell\/?p=1007"},"modified":"2023-03-01T05:54:50","modified_gmt":"2023-03-01T05:54:50","slug":"a-close-call","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.noevenable.com\/tendthewell\/a-close-call\/","title":{"rendered":"A Close Call…"},"content":{"rendered":"\n\n[et_pb_section fb_built=”1″ _builder_version=”4.17.3″ _module_preset=”default” global_colors_info=”{}” theme_builder_area=”post_content”][et_pb_row _builder_version=”4.17.3″ _module_preset=”default” global_colors_info=”{}” theme_builder_area=”post_content”][et_pb_column type=”4_4″ _builder_version=”4.17.3″ _module_preset=”default” global_colors_info=”{}” theme_builder_area=”post_content”][et_pb_text _builder_version=”4.17.3″ _module_preset=”default” inline_fonts=”Lora,Georgia” global_colors_info=”{}” theme_builder_area=”post_content”]

\u201cI\u2019m still here.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

These are my thoughts, as I sit in my car on the shoulder of the freeway, watching the cars roll past me.<\/span><\/p>\n

My body seems to have a life of its own, separate from me. I feel myself trembling, awake with endorphins, hearing my heart beat in my ears, reflexes in hyperdrive.<\/span><\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

What happened?<\/span>\u00a0 <\/span>Piecing it together.<\/span><\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

I was driving on the freeway when it suddenly started hailing, obscuring my visibility out the front windshield.<\/span>\u00a0 <\/span>I saw brake lights in front of me and put my foot on the brake.<\/span>\u00a0 <\/span>But the brake didn\u2019t take.<\/span><\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

What was happening?<\/span>\u00a0 <\/span>Was I pressing the wrong pedal?<\/span>\u00a0 <\/span>Did I somehow have my foot on the gas?<\/span>\u00a0 <\/span>I felt with my foot.<\/span>\u00a0 <\/span>No, it was definitely the brake I was pushing.<\/span>\u00a0 <\/span>But the brake did nothing, and I was a split second away from impact.<\/span><\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cThis is it,\u201d I thought to myself. <\/span>\u00a0<\/span><\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

But at the same time, something else was happening.<\/span>\u00a0 <\/span>My hands were on the wheel.<\/span>\u00a0 <\/span>I felt the wheel turning.<\/span>\u00a0 <\/span>Felt the car responding.<\/span>\u00a0 <\/span>Felt myself gliding over to the shoulder, missing the car in front of me by mere inches, slowing to where I now sat.<\/span><\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

Into the rear view mirror, I saw a white sedan lose control, careening across four lanes of traffic, coming to rest perpendicular to the oncoming cars, now swerving to avoid it.<\/span><\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

That\u2019s when I understood.<\/span>\u00a0 <\/span>It wasn\u2019t that my brakes had gone out.<\/span>\u00a0 <\/span>We\u2019d all been sliding on ice, and mine hadn\u2019t been the only car that had lost control.<\/span><\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

I also understood the physical reason that I\u2019d been able to regain control of the car.<\/span>\u00a0 <\/span>It was because, in my confusion, I kept taking my foot off the brake, then pushing it down again, thus \u201cpumping the brake\u201d which I now remembered is exactly what they tell you to do if you ever lose control of your car. <\/span>\u00a0<\/span><\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

This story exemplifies something I see every day in my life, and also in my practice as a therapist, and it is this –<\/span><\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

Our resources are greater than we know.<\/span><\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

You feel it intensely in an experience like the one I\u2019ve just described. <\/span>\u00a0<\/span><\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

My small self was frantic.<\/span>\u00a0<\/span><\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

But simultaneously, something skilled and spacious in me took over, calmly maneuvering us to safety. <\/span>\u00a0<\/span><\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

Now, I could tell this story in a few different ways. <\/span>\u00a0<\/span><\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

I could tell it from a spiritual perspective, highlighting my sense of something greater stepping in to lend a hand, just at my moment of greatest need. <\/span>\u00a0<\/span><\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

Or I could talk about it just in terms of parts of the self.<\/span>\u00a0 <\/span>While one part of me panicked, another part of me got calm and took effective action, without my even having to think about it.<\/span><\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

But however you frame a story like this, this much is true.<\/span>\u00a0<\/span><\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

We all have problems.<\/span><\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

We also all have resources.<\/span><\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

AND\u2026<\/span>\u00a0 <\/span>What we focus on, we amplify. <\/span>\u00a0<\/span><\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

If you consistently feel under-resourced, that\u2019s a good indication that you\u2019re practiced in focusing on the problem, which, if you stop there, just feeds your sense of overwhelm. <\/span>\u00a0<\/span><\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

But it doesn\u2019t have to be that way.<\/span>\u00a0 <\/span>It\u2019s that old \u201cglass half empty\u201d \u201cglass half full\u201d binary. <\/span>\u00a0<\/span><\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

One way to think about therapy (like the kind I practice) is that it\u2019s a way of shifting your focus from focusing on the problem to focusing on the resources that help.<\/span>\u00a0 <\/span>Because the more you focus on developing your inner resources, the stronger they get.<\/span><\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

And the truth is, it doesn\u2019t matter HOW you talk about it – whether you identify it as your relationship to the divine, or simply a wise part of yourself that you\u2019re able to access at times.<\/span><\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

Whatever you call it, your inner resources are there for you to draw on.<\/span><\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

So how can we become more resourced?<\/span>\u00a0 <\/span>Let me count the ways!<\/span><\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

(Probably as many ways as there are healers!) <\/span>\u00a0<\/span><\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

In my practice, I work with three main tools – A somatic healing modality called Depth Hypnosis, Suggestion Hypnosis, and Shamanic Counseling (based in the principles of core Shamanism, as opposed to a lineage based practice).<\/span>\u00a0 <\/span>These tools might be helpful to you, or there might be something else you\u2019ve found that speaks to you.<\/span><\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

How ever you go about it, what matters is this –<\/span>\u00a0<\/span><\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

The more you identify the resources you want to grow in yourself, the more you can<\/span>\u00a0 <\/span>invest the time, care, resources and actions to help you cultivate your relationship to them.<\/span><\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

If you feel like you can\u2019t find your way, it might be that you simply don\u2019t yet know the steps to follow. <\/span>\u00a0<\/span><\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

This is one of the things therapy can help with.<\/span>\u00a0 <\/span>(And likewise, regular individual spiritual practice!)<\/span><\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

And what about you?<\/span><\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

Have you ever had an experience that showed you you were more resourced than you knew?<\/span>\u00a0 <\/span>What was that experience for you?<\/span><\/span><\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

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\u201cI\u2019m still here.\u201d These are my thoughts, as I sit in my car on the shoulder of the freeway, watching the cars roll past me. My body seems to have a life of its own, separate from me. I feel myself trembling, awake with endorphins, hearing my heart beat in my ears, reflexes in hyperdrive. […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":3,"featured_media":1011,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_et_pb_use_builder":"on","_et_pb_old_content":"","_et_gb_content_width":"","footnotes":""},"categories":[27,15],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-1007","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-inner-growth","category-personal-empowerment"],"aioseo_notices":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.noevenable.com\/tendthewell\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1007","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.noevenable.com\/tendthewell\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.noevenable.com\/tendthewell\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.noevenable.com\/tendthewell\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/3"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.noevenable.com\/tendthewell\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=1007"}],"version-history":[{"count":3,"href":"https:\/\/www.noevenable.com\/tendthewell\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1007\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":1012,"href":"https:\/\/www.noevenable.com\/tendthewell\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1007\/revisions\/1012"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.noevenable.com\/tendthewell\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/1011"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.noevenable.com\/tendthewell\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=1007"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.noevenable.com\/tendthewell\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=1007"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.noevenable.com\/tendthewell\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=1007"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}